Ambivalence Often Comes Before Change

If you are considering making a change in you life, particularly if it may be a fairly significant change, but you are not ready to make the change, I encourage you to look for signs of ambivalence you may be experiencing. As long as things are working for you in your life, you are not likely to be truly motivated to make a change. Except for involuntary changes in our lives, we need to have an amount of willingness to make change happen. Initially you may consider making a change but decide that whatever the situation, it is not really that bad. In that case, there is little motivation to change.

Thoughts of change may creep into your mind even when you are busy doing other things. As thoughts of changing increase, or you move into more dissatisfaction or discomfort with that part of your life, you will eventually get to a place where you are ambivalent about it. So you might begin to consider what your life would be like if you made some changes. Generally, at that stage you begin to recognize that there could be some benefits to making some changes. Until you can begin to see that there could be some benefit, you are not likely ready to undertake the change; that is, you are not yet sufficiently motivated to follow through.

Over time, you may begin to see additional benefits or would see increasing value to changing. As you move through those feelings of ambivalence about making a change, if it still seems to represent what you want, or at least a step in the right direction, you are likely to be ready to develop and implement a change plan. You could then put your plan into action with a fair amount of confidence that you are ready to make the change you desire.

If, however, you find the ambivalence has given way to reluctance to make the change, you are probably not ready to do so. You may want to rethink the situation or consider other possible ways to make some changes that would be beneficial for you.


Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, coping with an empty nest, non-retirement planning, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor. Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information on her services.

To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.