We often think of the grieving process as starting when we lose a loved one. This is certainly true, but we may also grieve other losses. Certainly we may grieve for the loss of a marriage if we get divorced, or the loss of a friendship if something or someone comes between you and a close fiend or relative. We experience other losses as we continue to mature and some of those transitions may also initiate a grieving period.
The loss of our status as a 'parent' may cause us to feel loss - when all the children are away in college or married. For some individuals, the loss of youth causes bouts of feeling blue or out of sorts. Similarly, the change in our standing or status in the church or community may cause us to grieve. Although all of those experiences may be planned for, and some celebrated, it does not mean that you may not experience feelings related to the change, the loss.
Additionally, the loss of a job, involuntarily or not, often causes us to grieve. This is a particularly difficult situation, because it generally comes at a time when we should be upbeat and actively planning our next career steps. Some people have the luxury of taking a little time off before starting a job search and that may allow them to more fully experience their loss and grieve that which is no more. But many people find they need to move into something as soon as possible and conducting a job search can be very hard on the individual in those circumstances.
Of course, just as people experience loss differently, they most likely react differently to their grief, as well. Not only that, but even the people who truly grieve the loss of their job may experience different accompanying feelings.
Often when we are going through the grieving process, it is not a continual state, so there may be periods when we are not immediately aware of our loss and feel almost 'normal.' Then something may happen that triggers our memory and we are reminded of our experiences. Over time, the period of feeling 'normal' should increase until it is only occasionally that you truly feel your loss. That is the wonderful thing about time, it can do wonders for the healing process. But it is important that we allow ourselves to grieve our losses and time to do so - it is a natural part of living.
Mary Ann Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC) in private practice providing coaching and counseling for life's transitions; including career change or job search, as well as loss of job, retirement planning, grief work, coping with an empty nest, and other life planning issues. She is certified as a Master Career Counselor (MCC) by the National Career Development Association; a Life/Work Counselor by the National Employment Counseling Association; and is a Distance Credentialed Counselor (DCC). Please visit her web site at www.YourCareerPlan.com for more information.
To contact Mary Ann, please call (513) 665-4444 x3 and leave a personal and confidential message or send an email to YourCareerPlan@cinci.rr.com.